


absquatulate

by hellolovelyautumn



Series: 아름다운 느낌 // beautiful feeling [2]
Category: Lovelyz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 07:51:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21012320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellolovelyautumn/pseuds/hellolovelyautumn
Summary: a yoo jiae short





	absquatulate

** _absquatulate_ **  
_(v.) to leave without saying goodbye_

A Y O O J I A E S H O R T

Jiae stirred awake and when she breathed in the fresh cold air, she knew she had slipped. As she opened her eyes, the nostalgic sea of white welcomed her as the trees in their beautiful white coats swayed gently from side to side.

She missed the view. She missed the silence. She missed the crackling of the fire in that little warm home. She missed _being here_.

_How long has it been?_

Suddenly, she shivered. Her body had belatedly realised the change in temperatures and as she looked down at her clothes, she was thankful it had been nearing winter back home in Korea. The last time she came, it was summer and she was dressed so lightly she was sure she was going to freeze to death.

Taking another deep breath of the air she had longed for, she found her bearings and slowly strolled in the direction of the place she loved.

The first time Jiae came, she was so afraid and often got lost. The second time wasn't any better for she still couldn't make sense of the landscape that looked exactly the same at every turn. Now that it's her eighth time, she was as confident as those who had lived there all their lives.

The light was beginning to go out as the sun in the area always sets by five in the evening. Quickening her pace, she soon found herself at the doorstep of the home who sheltered her each and every time.

She was about to reach for the knob when she heard the rhythmic sounds of firewood being chopped. A small smile crept on her face as she forgot the knob and treaded to the back of the house.

There he was, all wrapped up in thick and warm winter clothing, working tirelessly at chopping the chunks of wood he had. It was as if he knew she was coming and therefore decided to prepare a lot more firewood than he would usually require for himself alone.

Lightly sneaking up behind him, she jumped and wrapped her arms around his neck, ensuring he wasn't holding the axe at that point in time.

Startled, he dropped the wood he was carrying and felt his heartbeat quicken.

"Jiae..?"

"Mmm!" she giggled. "It's Jiae!"

Gently removing her arms from around his neck, he turned to look at her. It took more than a second for reality to sink in and when his mind and heart finally confirmed that the girl in front of him was real, he brought his own arms tightly around her.

"It's been long."

"Yeah." _It's been so long._

"I missed you."

_Me too._

Breaking the hug, they simply stood in the cold, gazing into each others' eyes. She couldn't help but notice the severe bags under his tired eyes and the dryness of his skin and lips. It weighed upon her heart, seeing how he wasn't as he used to be – the fair, bright looking man with eyes that glistened and sparkled with youthfulness. And as much as she desired to see him every day, she knew she was the cause of his weariness.

Suddenly taking notice of her single coat, he quickly suggested, "shall we head inside?"

Smiling, she nodded and with her hand in his, they huddled close and headed to the warmth of the home.

The clinking of kitchenware filled the cottage as he asked without looking up from his hands, "the usual?"

"Yes, please."

After a while, a mug of hot chocolate was carefully placed in her hands. Jiae was sitting on the rug by the fireplace with a thick gingham blanket over her lap. She tapped the space beside her and he comfortably settled down. As he leaned back against the sofa made out of wood and wool cushions, she snuggled up and placed her head on his shoulder.

As they enjoyed their hot drinks in silence, Jiae closed her eyes, trying her very best to let every bit of time here be etched into her memory. She never forgot a second of it and she never wanted to.

It was her safe place.

The silence was finally interrupted when he couldn't resist the urge any longer and asked her in a tiny whisper, "so what was it this time?"

He had promised seven times to never ask her and yet on the eighth time, he still wanted to know. He wanted to help. He wanted to listen to her worries and encourage her. He wanted to tell her she had done well and that it wasn't her fault.

"Mmm..." Jiae hummed as her fingers played with the handle of the mug in her hands. "It was getting too painful so I ran away."

Lifting her hand to touch her cheek, she gave it a small pat before turning to look at him. Seeing the tears in her eyes, he reached out and gently placed his hand on her cheek. Caressing her cheek, he pulled her close in a large embrace.

With soothing pats, he whispered assuredly, "it's okay now. You're here now."

_And soon, I'll be gone._

_And it will hurt again._

"What shall we do tonight?" he asked, excitement in his tone.

Sitting up, Jiae brightened up and answered, "muffins! I want to bake muffins with you!"

_That's right, I didn't get to bake it with you the last time._

Grinning, he snapped his fingers and pointed towards the kitchen, "let's get started then!"

By the time the delicious muffins were completed, there was a huge mess for the cheeky children in them came alive and began fooling around halfway through. It was followed by a major clean up of both the tabletops and floor as well as their own physical selves.

Donned in his oversized shirt and pants, she watched as he began fixing a late night meal for the both of them. Never taking her eyes off him, they ate, board gamed, played cards, pillow fought, wrestled and even tried to watch the stars in the freezing cold.

"Ah, the firewood's almost out. I'll go and get some from the shed."

"Oh... okay..."

Jiae swallowed. She felt fear come upon her as she began to have a funny feeling eating her away. She knew this feeling all to well and she wanted to fight it even though she knew of all the times, she was only successful once.

_Stay alert. Stay. Stay. Stay..._

Jiae stirred awake and when she breathed in the stale cold air, she knew she was back. As she opened her eyes, the familiar white ceiling welcomed her as the creaking of the ceiling fan resounded in the room.

Tears poured out and ran down her face as she wished to have left for good. To be with him forever, to be by his side, to share his warmth.

She didn't get a chance to say goodbye, just as she didn't the previous seven times.

But she didn't want to ever say goodbye.

_I just want to go to where you are. Can't you let me do that?_

E P I L O G U E

_"I've got the firewo--" Yoongi returned from the shed and saw the blanket forsaken on the ground. Dropping the logs, he fell to his knees and broke down._

_He ought to be happy, that she went back. And yet, it was heartbreaking to be separated from her again and again._

_Jiae ah. Please don't come back here. Please live happily. Please stay alive and live it to the fullest. Don't let me hold you back. Don't let me prevent your happiness._

_Jiae. Live. Live. Live._


End file.
